How To Be Happy With Yourself

They say that the key to life is happiness. But have you ever wondered what it means to be truly happy? Or better yet, how does one be happy with themselves?

There is no “perfect” or “right” answer to this question. Everybody is set out on their own journey in the search of different destinations by following divergent paths, but know this: The answer to are looking for lies truly within you. Just give yourself a chance to listen closer and see better, and you will. 

There aren’t exactly steps, procedures, rules or tutorials to follow in order to be happy with oneself. But here are a couple of ways you can start:

1. Unlatching the leash

We all have certain people we are surrounded by in our lives, be it friends or family. As much as we love somebody, it’s human nature to naturally attach ourselves to the people we admire or consider close. Although it may be a good thing, there’s always a ying for a yang. Sometimes, it’s better to take a step back for ourselves. Wouldn’t you want to be treated the same way you treat the people that you love? Give some of that to yourself by taking some time off of (too many or unnecessary) attachments. Know that you don’t have to be lonely to be happy. This isn’t called being selfish. It’s more like being selfless.

2. Grow your roots

Blessed are those who keep a smaller circle than trying too hard to fit into the crowd. Well, small circle or not, it doesn’t really matter how many friends or people that you have in your life, but what is important is surrounding yourself around those who contribute to your growth, to stay with those who bring out the best in you, and to learn from the people you look upto the most. They are the ones who feed us comfort, light and hope. So grow your roots wisely.

3. Be an ambitious warrior

We all have certain goals, targets or desires that we want in our lives, which all begin with a dream. No dream is ever too big, and no dreamer is ever too small. Never let anyone tell you what you can or can not do. All it takes is for you to get up on your feet and believe in yourself to have the courage to take the first step forward. Most of the times, the only thing that stands between a man and what he wants in life is merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible. So don’t be afraid. Keep your chin up and hold your head up high! Show them what the warrior in you is built of and the champion that you are meant to be!

4. Wiping the slate clean

We all have a past (some of us who aren’t exactly proud of it). No one is perfect. We fall. We fail. We get hurt. We make mistakes. Most of us tell ourselves that we need to move on. To take a big leap forward, without hesitation, without looking back. To forget our past and to leap towards the future. Unfortunately, what many of us don’t realise is that life doesn’t always work that way. It’s more than just “forgiving and forgetting”. It all begins with acceptance. Normalise making mistakes. Remember that no matter who you are or where you come from, everything that has happened to you in the past, regardless of whether it is good or bad are the things that have shaped you into the person that you are today. Mistakes don’t define you. What you learn from them does. So learn to wipe the slate clean by letting go of your setbacks and making peace with your past. 

5. Less scrolling and more living

 Social media. The world’s biggest luxury entertainment these days. How often have you found yourself wishing you looked more like someone else, or wanting to be popular, rich and cool like someone else? A lot of us hear that social media is fake and that we never know what truly happens behind the scenes. Although this may be true upto a certain extent, what’s important to understand is that it doesn’t matter what other people do. Although you may see several people going on amazing vacations or posts related to purchasing the latest iPhone, remember that everything that is done doesn’t need to be seen or heard. Stop comparing yourself with people, let alone with the people you barely know. Prioritise your mental health. Unplug to unwind. Know that you can also grow and glow privately and you don’t have to post it to prove it. 

6. Having cheat days

You know how we have a cheat day every once a while at the gym? Sometimes it’s good to have cheat days that aren’t necessarily related to the gym. We tend to believe that we need to be productive until we burn out in order to feel satisfied. Although we feel burnt out, the feeling of productiveness isn’t nearly equal. Love yourself a little more like the way your loved ones love you. Take care of yourself rather than waiting for someone else to do it. Not only does it make you feel independent, but it also gives you the liberty to feel bold, unrestrained and free spirited. Do the things you love. The things you enjoy. Read a good book, mediate it pick up on the hobbies that you’ve left off or better yet, learn something new that feeds your muse. Have those cheat days. You deserve them. Everybody does. 

7. Quit pleasing people

One of the most hardest and unhealthiest things we tend to do to fit in is pleasing people. We go the extra mile and beyond to make our friends like us, our parents or relatives proud of us and our boss be more appreciative of us. Regardless of what kind of relationship we have with people, we try everything and anything it takes to feel validated. Well, the harsh truth is, no matter how hard you try, you aren’t exactly going to be labelled “flawless”. Know that there’s a difference between trying to achieve perfectionism and being perfect. The latter does not exist. Remember, you are not everybody’s cup of tea. And that is okay. Learning is a painful process. Nothing is easy in life. But what can be easy is the way you treat yourself. Know that it’s okay to say no to the things you don’t want to do, and stop thinking about the things that aren’t in your control. It’s easier said than done, but keep in mind that at the end of the day, all you are left with is yourself. No one’s coming to save you. So be your own superhero with the superpower of not having to please everyone around you, for the sake of your own happiness, health and well being. 

8. Expressing gratitude

Although everything has a price that needs to be paid for in order to be earned, kindness is free. Love is free. Remember to be thankful for the little things you’ve got. Being grateful never hurt anybody. Everything that you send, sow and radiate eventually finds its way back to you. So whether you believe in karma or not, be a reflection of what you’d like to receive. Express your gratitude.

9. Rising back up

As a kid, we imagine and expect the world to be full of unicorns and rainbows as we know it. Growing up is hard. Growing up with a rosy view of the world is harder. Like the saying goes, life goes on with ups and downs. Time doesn’t stop for anybody. Though there are times that you feel like giving up, when you feel like there are no stars in the sky and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, remind yourself what brought you here in the first place, because that it what fuels you to keep going. No matter how long you stay on the ground, make sure to arch your back, raise your chin higher and to brush off every speck of dust that tramples onto you when you get back up, for every fall is the one that carves your knees to become stronger, because one day when you look back, you’ll realise it was those downfalls and the refusal to give into them that has gotten you to the farthest of your journey. 

They say when one door closes, another opens. But why wait until another opens? Why wait for acceptance? Why seek validation? Why wait for happiness? I say, when one door closes, or sometimes, If all the doors close, find your way out through a window. Unravel your own path. There is no “right” or “wrong” direction we are headed towards. Be the hero of your own story, because it isn’t going to be anybody else.

Next Read: How to Prioritise your Mental Health